Cruel Unreality
by LittleDarkDevil13
Summary: Sometimes, Reality is painful, but the things we know aren't meant to be real are even more cruel, like pulling at heartstrings with sewing needles Yullen


**So… yeah… :)**

**This is sort of one of the darkest pieces I've written, I don't know where it came from, I was studying for a Biochem test and this just sorta popped into my head. I might make a prequel to it.**

**Oh and there is a part that's a bit confusing but it all clears up at the end.**

_**Ahh I wish my lovely person**_

_**stops shedding tears**_

_**May my final wish reach him**_

_**Goodbye goodbye, Thank you**_

_**For teaching love to someone like me**_

**Rin and Len Kagamine~ Cinderella, another story**

**Cruel Unreality**

"So, this is it?" A girl with Green hair asked, looking sort of disheartened.

No one answered.

Though the war had been won, the order had been decimated in the process; everyone was grieving in a way. And so, as she inspected her surroundings, Lenalee wondered if this so called peace was even worth such big sacrifices.

They were currently inside the castle which had been the headquarters of the Noah family; apparently it would be taken over by the order as a trophy of war. Lenalee looked around, her friends looked as depressed as she was, the castle itself was quite pretty, there was a fireplace big enough to warm the living room without the heat being suffocating, and the furniture had a rustic tone to itself that didn't diminish its beauty in the least. There were also various paintings adorning the walls, some with darker tones, representing sorrowful scenes, some with happy, bright scenarios, and some just plain abstract.

One, however caught her attention, it was big and represented the whole Noah family in their human forms, that group of monsters, excluding Tyki whom had switched sides for some reason that she was sure involved Lavi, it just wasn't right that they looked so human. This was all wrong, this place, everything, she hated it

If it was her decision, she'd probably burn it down to the smallest stone, they shouldn't even be here, and so many dreadful things for them and for humanity had happened in here Lavi's abduction, Allen's confinement…

This last one being extremely painful, not only to her but to all of them, even Kanda, though he tried to hide it. It must have been horrible for the young exorcist to be trapped within these rock walls, unable to move and with the fourteenth attacking just about every time he pleased.

Even thinking of it made her want to cry.

.

.

.

The first floor had been marvelous, the second less so. The sixth was a nightmare.

It was apparently where the Earl kept the prisoners.

Lavi could barely bear to gaze at the cells, true, he had been secluded in that mansion, but he had also been unconscious for the most of time and for the times he had been conscious they'd always kept him in the first or the second floors; he'd never taken to such deplorable confinement places…

But Allen had, and that was one of the things that hurt him the most, the Earl had excelled in cruelty when it had come to the treatment of the white haired exorcist.

In the end he'd just wished to weaken Allen though, because ultimately, the earl only wanted to have Neah back, Allen had been only a hindrance from the very beginning.

A sharp pain in his shoulder and the sensation of being pushed into the wall made Lavi realize that he'd been spacing out long enough to exhaust the patience of his friend, well not like it took a lot to exhaust Kanda's patience.

"Tch if you're not going to move, then make way, Lavi" Not Usagi, Lavi the samurai had been even stiffer than usual lately.

"Hey Yu I was just thinking!" he retorted "Doesn't it phase you at all, this place… can't you feel the heaviness that shrouds it?"

"Hn"

The samurai simply walked forward, not like Lavi thought he'd answer anyways. The long haired exorcist always concealed himself like that, even when he was grieving as much as the rest of them were.

For a moment he thought of following him, but then, Lavi saw Kanda take a turn that could only lead him to one place, and oh no, he wasn't going back to that hellish place , by no means was he going to put a feet again in what had been Allen's cell.

.

.

.

Kanda walked into the tiny cell, though it had been cleaned, some of the smell of dried blood still remained.

Not really knowing what to do, he walked over to the window, perhaps, the only thing this cell had that could be considered nice, was the view that consisted in the sea, that pounded against the cliffs and trees that grew over them.

The samurai felt awkward just standing in there like a dunce, he just sat down, wondering how Allen had been able to survive eight months in that place, he'd heard from Komui, that the poor kid had barely been fed in that time, right now Yu wished that he'd cut the Earl down himself.

In truth despite all of the fight and quarrels he cared for the moyashi, the kid was insufferable, ever too perky and smiling most of the time, even when he could totally tell that it was all a lie. That fake smile was what infuriated him the most, but in all of the time they'd been forced to spend together, he'd developed a certain fondness of the kid.

The feeling, whatever it was appeared and despite his efforts to push it away, Kanda had found himself wanting to protect the smaller exorcist, no matter how much said exorcist irked him. And all of those feelings had been intensified with all the Kid had done for Kanda and Alma, could someone ever be so selfless, Kanda seriously doubted it. And then there also were feelings that for one made him love… no not love… or yes… whatever they made him care about the moyashi even more, Kanda felt guilty, had he not stabbed Allen, the fourteenth wouldn't have awakened so soon and the kid wouldn't have run away.

Kanda sort of loved him, even now…

As he was in a sort of trance, the samurai heard the quiet sound of someone's footsteps and felt someone sit beside him in the cell's floor.

Turning around he saw no one less than the Moyashi he'd been giving himself a headache about ever since Kanda had stepped on the cell.

With wide eyes, the older exorcist stared at Allen.

"Y-you should be…"

The younger man's face had that infuriating smile as he cut him off "I'm not the only one that's supposed to be elsewhere, now am I Bakanda? I can see those bandages below your jacket, and I know you don't heal as fast as before."

Kanda glared at him. Tch, annoying.

Allen's silver hair was longer, he noticed, the kid looked even better like that, it made the samurai wonder, in other world could they have…

He shook his head ridding it of useless thoughts, what was, was and he was no one to change it.

"Why'd you come?" Allen said bluntly.

"Do I need a reason to seek a quiet place now Moyashi?"

Allen smiled sadly at the nickname, he'd almost missed it while confined, and he had missed everything, Kanda especially.

"No" He said softly "But why here? This place has hardly what I could call a relaxed aura" Allen absentmindedly leaned his head against the wall. "And you're the only one that has come since the earl died"

A little bit of sunlight seeped through the window, and to Kanda the boy looked transparent, like a sort of fallen angel, all pure white and silver. Yu didn't understand why Allen always tried to hide his hair in crowds, the color of it, only made him more appealing. Nothing could make him unappealing, not even the arm, or the scars or the curse, Allen had always been unhappy with his appearance, and Kanda knew it, silly child, for some reason he dared consider himself ugly.

"I don't know… just leave it" He grumbled

Allen's eyes had a sad sort of knowledge inside, something a man as young as him shouldn't have, something that no one should have, it was ancient and pleading but Kanda did not know how to help it . He wanted to touch the Moyashi but he just couldn't bring himself to lift his hand, afraid that it would disturb this frail mirage he was reveling in.

Instead he blurted out "Did it hurt?"

"Huh"

"Being here"

"I…" inside Allen's eyes there was a fight going on, Kanda could see it. The kid needed to tell someone, to let it all off his back and yet he didn't want to burden Kanda with his demons. Again, way too selfless.

The taller man sighed "Say it, all of it Moyashi."

"In the beginning… I tried to escape a few times, after a while I just gave up, I was too weak, and Neah kept going out every time it hurt more. After some time passed even the days became blurry, even that was better than when road came to …play" Allen had curled up suddenly, Kanda almost felt glad for having been the one that cut the bitch down. "She was always a sadist at heart" He then saw something just about impossible, a tear run down Allen's face " But the worst was not knowing how you all were…" And then again that goddamned smile "But it's alright I guess, since you all are Ok."

Kanda suddenly felt flushed "Don't smile like that, dumb Moyashi . I can see the tears"

"I…just… wanted" He was sobbing now, and Kanda embraced him against all logic, being able to touch him, this angel. "It… should be ok… shouldn't it…I just wanted… that… person… I'm just selfish…"

Those last words seemed to be squeezing his heart, in the end, he'd never been loved by the kid.

Still, Allen was shivering in his arms way too cold to be alive, even if Allen had loved him it was too late, so he at least had to know "Who?" Tear filled eyes looked up at him, they were too pure, too innocent , too sad, Kanda felt a tear slide down his own cheek.

The younger's Adam's apple bobbed "You" And kanda froze " I loved Yu, I still…" and he was sobbing again.

Reaching out, cupping Allen's cheek, a cheek that he shouldn't be able to touch, Kanda pressed his lips to Allen's.

His feelings seeped into the kiss, possessiveness, care, love. The kiss was too hot, too loving, earth shifting.

Gentle and yet rough, Allen finished it, pulling onto Yu's lower lip with his teeth and releasing softly.

"Thank you" And he seemed to glow, a silvery glow, very noticeable in the poor light that appears when air gives way to night. Kanda tried to touch him again but his hand went right through. Just as he had feared, the cruel reality took even this from him. "the chains can't keep me here I don't belong here… I'm sorry" He'd known all along… that this Allen wasn't alive but it still hur, so fucking much.

"No…"

"Sorry…" For once in that conversation, Allen's smile was real "Goodbye"

Kanda couldn't touch him, and soon he wouldn't be able to see him, as his figure was breaking out into countless little particles of light.

"I love you"

"See you… next time" And the last tear slid down the younger's face. Yu reached out to try and grab him, though he knew it was useless.

Kanda stayed like that for a long time, then he turned around and left.

On the wall outside the cell there was a small message.

_**May this cell stay as it is for as long as this castle lasts, in memory of the war hero,**_

_**Allen Walker, who gave his life to kill the millennium Earl, and perished right in this cell**_

As Kanda walked away he knew that with one kiss the Moyashi had stolen his heart and he would certainly love him until he died… until they met again… forever.

**And It's done, forgive me for killing Allen though, It was the plot bunny that forced me to. I wrote this as an spur of the moment I hope it's good, anyways please review.**


End file.
